I’ve been wanting to review a lot of the latest releases.  Unfortunately, a lot of them aren’t new anymore, but here are the latest one’s I’ve been looking at.  I’m going to hold fast to my resolution to expand my horizons, so today I’m breaking down my barrier and reviewing IDOLING!!! for the first time.  I’m sorry I can’t provide you guys with the actual PVs or lives for most of these; we all know Japanese labels are insane with copyright (although last time I checked, wasn’t the point of a promotional video to promote…?).

IDOLING!!! – MAMORE!!!

The only time I’ve listening to this group was their AKB48 collaboration (brilliant), and I think I’ve listened to snippets here and there since then, but nothing’s stuck out to me.  Then somewhere along the way I decided they were just a cheap AKB-rip-off and stopped bothering.  With my new resolve for 2012, though, I supposed to give it a try.

My first impression was that this is a really catchy song.  Anything else I’ve heard from them as bored me, so I’m glad when I actually decided to listen, it was a good one!  I wish the whole song could have been like the opening bars, but it’s still pretty good.

Unfortunately, though, everything else just reminds me of AKB48.  In fact… is that the same warehouse they used for “RIVER”…?  And the same style of outfits…?  The style of the song and the PV also reminded me a bit too much of a mash-up of “RIVER” and “BINGO!”.

On the plus side, the girls of IDOLING!!! are gorgeous and really energetic.  They kept me entertained and watching the whole way through the PV, so I suppose they accomplished the job.  I just wish it was a bit more original.  I’m not asking for duck suits or anything, but maybe a different warehouse?  Or one that’s not empty?

On a side note, why does it seem that Hello! Project (specifically Morning Musume) still can’t figure out the power of makeup??  Please compare the girls from IDOLING!!! or AKB48 to the 8th, 9th and 10th generations of Morning Musume. It’s not that they have superior genes, it’s that someone is smart enough to use eyeliner.  Huh.

no3b – Pedicure Day

no3b always has and always will be my favorite AKB-related thing ever.  They have the best songs with the best messages, which is originally why I liked them.  Consequently, the girls in this group make up most of my AKB favorites.  And this PV and song are perfect examples of why I love them so much.

The song is uplifting and happy and addictive.  Like most no3b songs, it’s vocally challenging as well.  The PV reflects the feeling of the song perfectly.  Just like their name suggests, this PV is really carefree and filled with girls being girls.  It reminds me a lot of “Relax!”, which is the reason why I love this group so much.

SKE48 – Kataomoi Finally

Uhm.  Wow.

If any idol group would turn their members into creepers and wota-pleasing lesbian whores, it would definitely be one in the AKB family.  Now, I see the marketing strategy, and it’s brilliant.  I also know they were purposely going for the shock factor.  Don’t get me wrong here.  But being okay with the lesbian scenes and theme, I still felt uncomfortable and appalled at several parts of this music video.

First of all, I don’t know a single member’s name of SKE48, so bare with me here.  The girl who is the lesbian player who instigates pretty much every conflict in this video looks like SUCH A CREEP.  I would run away crying if she cornered me in a locker room.  And how innocent they made the other girl (oh hey white dress in an open field being the symbol of innocence and virginity), it seems that she probably should have as well.

On the lines of production itself, the scene where they make out on the street confuses me.  I don’t understand how they were completely unfazed by a huge car accident just a couple feet in front of them.  If the car scene was supposed to be symbolic, then that’s one thing, but right in front of the girls who didn’t seem to notice it disturbed me a tad.  SKE48 says: “Don’t pay attention to lethal car accidents! ”  Also, did creeper seriously suck the blood off of innocent’s cut?  I’ve seen this in mangas and animes, and that’s one thing, but to actually do it… is creeper a vampire or something?  It also seriously disturbed me.

And oh, let’s not forget the biggest issue there is.  Underage girls being lesbians, whatever.  But 20 underaged girls drinking?  Seriously?!?  Are you seriously promoting that right now, Aki-P???  I’m just… floored.  And then a drunk girl goes and fires off illegal pyrotechnics in a heavily urban alley with tons of houses and things that could explode or catch on fire.

…wow.

I was going to say something about the violence, but innocent is sticking up for herself against playa!creeper, so I’ll let that one slide.

On the plus side, I love the song itself!  I usually really like SKE48 releases, and this is no exception!

I’m skipping SDN48′s new single because… creepy old man is creepy.  Creepier than playa!creep from SKE.

Kikkawa You – Konna Watashi de Yottakara

This kind of counts for my 2012 resolve.  I listened to Kikkawa’s debut single and was thoroughly unimpressed, so I stopped caring.  I stumbled upon a live version of this song, however, and turns out it’s not all that bad!

The PV itself is a bit boring.  The dance scenes are really sadly cheap.  When I watched it live, her dance was a bit drab, but it’s okay because she can’t be dancing too crazy if she wants to sing well.  I understand.  So I was hoping that the PV would counteract this with lots of background dancers doing a much better dance, especially since the song talks about dancing so much.  Didn’t happen.  In fact, not only did she not get background dancers, but she dances with cheap copied mirrors of herself.  Wow, Universal.  Thought you were better than this.

The redeeming factor of this PV is the puppets.  They are AWESOME.  She makes them sing lead, sing backup, dance, and fight while keeping a straight face.  At first I was a little sketched out by them, but turns out, the sock puppets are my favorite part of the PV.

The song itself is really, really good for Kikkawa.  I was expecting something like poor ManoEri’s crap releases.  It’s actually catchy and dynamic.  It really showcases Kikkawa’s vocal range, which is a great marketing strategy for an up-and-coming soloist.  My only complaint is the song gets really redundant towards the end, to the point that I just stop listening.  This could have been easily fixed with some adlibs during the final 6 choruses after the bridge, but alas.  It just gets boring.

Also, I’d like to take this opportunity to say “Told you so!”

After School – Rambling Girls

When I first saw this PV, I was really impressed.  The song is catchy, the lyrics are insanely simple to follow, the dance is awesome, and the PV is really flashy (literally).

But a couple more listens and watches through…

The main melody of this song is REALLY overdone, just like 9nine’s “Natsu wanna say love u” is.  Their Engrish is really awful, and the PV is really not creative and pretty cheap.  For their first original Japanese song, I suppose I just expected more.

I still like the song.  The bridge is probably my favorite part (“c’mon everybody eh eh eh”), and the girls are stunning, but it seems that they skimped out on this compared to what they’ve done in the past.  A lot.

Akanishi Jin – Sun Burns Down

Gawdamnit.  I wanted to hate this song SO BAD.  I’ve been doing really well at hating everything Jin’s done since he turned into an egoistic asshole and left KAT-TUN and Johnny’s.  REALLY. WELL.  I hated his first American single and his last Japanese one.  But this…

I have no complaints about this song or video.  The video is really good for the song and America, and the song is perfect for America.  And so damn catchy.

I need to find something bad about.  Okay, okay… some of his dances are really awkward.  That’s the best I can do.

Shit.

—

I think Jpop is off to a great start for 2012, too!  If there’s a group or artist you guys think I should give a try for the new year, let me know!

The latest Japanese singer to get preggers and have a shotgun wedding before the baby drops, Miss Koda Kumi herself, has just released her new album, JAPONESQUE.  I always love her albums, and this one is no exception.  As you could deduce from the title, it has a lot of traditional Japanese influence mixed with Koda’s personal hip hop/r&b style that makes for one exceptionally well-made album.  Unlike most albums, I feel like not a single one of these songs is a throw-away or a filler (except for the two fillers), and it really spared no expense.  If I wasn’t a poor college student and it wasn’t SO EXPENSIVE, I would really pay the extra $20-$30 for the CD+DVD edition because most of the songs on this album have music videos.

01./10. Introduction/Interlude ~JAPONESQUE~

Usually I’m not a big fan of Koda’s filler/transition songs, but these are the exception.  Maybe it’s because I love the mix of styles.  They actually captures your attention and draws you back in to the album instead of being the tracks you just skip over.

02. So Nice feat. Mr. Blistah

I immediately thought of “Candy” when I saw this on the tracklist.  Funny enough, after hearing this song, it also sounds an awful lot like Koda and Mr. Blistah’s previous duet.  It’s the only other time I’ve even heard of Mr. Blistah.  He’s a really energetic rapper and is very complimentary to Koda.  The big difference between the two songs is that his one is much… calmer? than “Candy.”  Even so, everything about this song screams Koda.  Why?  It’s about sex and has all kinds of sex sounds in it.  Ah, Koda.

03. Boom Boom Boys

This is actually my least favorite song on the album.  I don’t think Koda is very well-suited for a rockish style.  I hate the “raps”, they just sound annoying.  More than anything, I think that ruined the song for me.  Her vocals are great, I just don’t enjoy the verses.

04. V.I.P. (feat. T-Pain)

I like the single version of this song better.  You can tell T-Pain only half-assed his phone-in rap.  But I love the single version of this song.  It took a couple listens to grow on me, but it’s really catchy.  And again, so Koda.  Her harmonies really stick out in this song because it showcases her high range in a more interesting way than her ballads.  She also has phenomenal energy on this song.  Oh, and the PV?  One of those great Koda music videos, like “BUT” and “TABOO.”

05. Slow feat. Omarion

I’ve never liked Omarion, and after the fail!T-pain of the last song, I was a little worried about this song.  But it’s a lot better than the last one.  Omarion’s parts actually make sense and compliment the song, and it’s not just one verse.  His vocals are sprinkled in from the first chorus on.  This song is just up-beat enough to be interesting but it’s slow-tempo’d, which showcases Koda’s ballad ability without putting you to sleep.

06. Brave

I’m hit-and-miss with Koda ballads.  I usually either hate them or love them (“Ai no Uta” is probably my favorite ballad of hers).  I thought I wouldn’t like this song, but I actually really like it.  It’s got a lot of layers to it–strings, synthesizer, drums, piano, and her vocals–instead of just a piano and her voice.  So while it’s a ballad, it’s a full and audio-compelling number.  Also, the instrumental reminds me of Ragnarok Online.  Bonus points!

07. Everyday

This song reminds me a lot of her Kingdom album, particularly “Koi no Mahou”, which is one of my favorite songs of Koda’s.  It’s really simple, but very uplifting.  It almost feels like a filler, but I would definitely listen to this song on it’s own (and I do).

08. IN THE AIR

I seriously loved Koda’s 4 Times single.  I’m excited I get to review it now.  I love this song for a lot of the same reasons I love “Slow.”  It’s slow and beautiful on the verses, but it picks up on the choruses.  It’s really, really uplifting.  When you’re in a bad mood or super depressed, this is a great song to listen to.  Even if you don’t understand Japanese, just the melodies are beautiful and happy.  The message is very positive (so unlike Koda!), about overcoming hard times and looking for the good even bad situations.  This song came out when I really needed to hear it, and for that it’s one of my favorites on this album.

09. You Are Not Alone (Acoustic Live Version)

The original version of this song was very different, so this version is really interesting.  Koda’s live vocals in this slowed-down version are really soothing.  I wouldn’t listen to this song on it’s own, but I often listen to the original version.  If you like acoustic guitar and Koda, this is the song for you!

11. ESCALATE

I love it when Koda does electronic-infused songs.  This song has nothing amazing to offer, but it’s a particularly catchy song.  This is the kind of song you expect to hear from Koda.

12. Love Me Back

Another single song that I didn’t review when it came out!  This song, like “V.I.P.” took a couple listens to grow on me.  I LOVE the synthesizer on the verses of this song.  It’s a spy song done right (Yamashita Tomohisa and SNSD, I’m looking at you).  The English hardly makes sense, but because this is such a fun song, it’s okay.  You usually get serious or sexy from Koda, but I love the fun songs like this that she does the most.

13. No Man’s Land

I already said I don’t think Koda does the rock style very well.  I’m not a huge fan of this song, either, but it’s better than “Boom Boom Boys.”  With the white-noised raps, it reminds me a lot of Linkin Park (except way better).  I like the lyrics a lot, though.

14. Ai wo Tomenaide

This is a nice song, but I feel the same way about it as I did when it came out.  It’s beautiful, but puts me to sleep.  A classic Koda ballad.

15. KO-SO-KO-SO

This was my favorite song off of 4 Times.  It’s my favorite song of Koda’s of 2011.  Probably my favorite on this album, too.  I’m pretty addicted to it.  The song has the same feel that 2NE1′s “Hate You” does with the synthesizer that for some reason is so damn catchy.  It’s down-right addictive.  I love this song.

16.  Lay Down

This song is super catchy.  I really like the way it sounds.  And on the surface, I really like the message about women taking control.  But, wait… Koda… are you supporting rape?!  Seriously?!  When I figured out the heavily-accented English lyrics, I was floored.  It kind of ruins the song for me.  I mean, it’s still catchy, but rape… is so not okay to sing about.  Especially because, sorry to say it, but Koda’s about to become a mother.  And she’s endorsing rape?!  In what world does that seem okay??

17. Love Techinique

This is my favorite new song on the album.  It’s adorable and catchy and up-beat and the best part?  It has 8bit.  SUPER WIN.  This is one of the few times I really enjoy Koda’s rapping.  It’s like S/mileage rapping, though–precious, not gangsta.  This song is so different from the rest of the album because it’s so poppy in an album of hip hop/r&b.  And it shines.  So bright.  This is a brilliant song.  If you choose one to listen to, start here.

18. Poppin’ love cocktail feat. TEEDA

Again with the rock.  I hated this song on 4 Times, and I still do.  It’s the bastard song of this album.

19. All for you

This song.  Love it.  Despite her first note being off-key, it is very clearly live.  It sounds like they recorded it with a 90′s cellphone in a bathroom.  But that makes it all the better.  It’s a touching song jam-packed with emotion.  I’m not sure if this is to her fans, her husband, or her baby, but either way, it’s a touching song.  It’s the perfect end to the album, in my opinion.

—

This is one of my favorite albums of Koda’s, probably second only to Kingdom.  I’m pretty sure this’ll be her last before she goes on hiatus due to the thing in her tummy.  Congratulations, Koda, don’t screw it up this time.  Don’t let your vagina shrivel up and die.  And stop canceling your tours, damnit.

But good job on the album.

This was requested early last year by qwert.  Sorry it took me this long to get to it.  The ninth installment of my TOP! series (see the page above to learn more about the series) is my top 20 j- and k-idols.  Again, that’s the smallest number I could muster.  I’ll spare you of the honorable mentions, though.  In order to keep the list doable, I kept it to members of idol groups (past and present).  It was also a very hard list, so some of the ones I would have put in here had to be cut.  Also, I only put one member per group to keep the list from being all Super Junior, SHINee, SNSD, or BIG BANG.

20. Kashiyuka (Perfume)

She’s always been my favorite  member of Perfume, and for a long time, Perfume was my favorite Jpop group.  She’s adorable and a great performer.  Well A~chan is usually the center, I can never take my eyes off of Kashiyuka.  She definitely gets the cream of the crop in outfits almost every single, and while her vocals are outshined by her fellow members, she’s slowly getting better and better.  And, come on, look at that smile.

19. Ishida Ayumi (Morning Musume) Ueda Tatsuya (KAT-TUN)

I think Kamenashi Kazuya used to be my favorite member of KAT-TUN, but he’s kind of a killjoy.  Then it was Akanishi Jin, but he turned into a self-righteous bastard that ruined by favorite Johnny’s group.  But in the background, I’ve always loved him.  He’s the most talented vocalist in the group, and definitely the prettiest.  I started to fangirl him around when he had his solo tour.  A member who’s never had a solo release has a solo concert.  Oh yeah, that’s Uepi for ya.

18. Masuda Takahisa (NEWS)

He’s always been my favorite member of NEWS, and they’ve always been one of my favorite Jpop groups.  They still would be if they would release anything.  Even though the loss of Yamapi and Ryo was supposed to increase the activity, it’s been a good couple of months and still… nothing.  Massu has an adorable face that you can’t help but love, but unexpectedly is also the acrobat of the group, and is very well-built.  He’s just an all-kill.

17. T.O.P. (BIG  BANG)

If I had made this list a year ago, T.O.P. would probably be at the top (trololol) of this list.  In addition to the serious lack of BIG BANG in the past year and my not being a huge fan of the songs that GD&TOP put out, frankly, I’m starting to like the other members more.  T.O.P. definitely has the most swag, but my love for the group isn’t just because of him anymore.  I really love BIG BANG as a whole these days, so it’s hard to love just T.O.P.  However, he’s still my favorite member of my favorite Kpop group, so he is on here by default.  And seriously, if you haven’t seen Iris (K-drama) yet, you need to.  It was beyond phenomenal.

16. Fujimoto Miki

Ah, Mikitty.  Another one of the best singers to ever grace Hello! Project.  She was a huge bitch when she was in Morning Musume, and I really hated her for a very long time, despite her saucy and soothing voice.  Before and after Morning Musume is when she really shined.  She was always meant to be solo.  She’s also on the growing list of knocked up MoMusu mommies, and man, that child is going to have some seriously superior genes.  Lucky fuck.

15. Amber f(x)

This is another “If this list was made a year ago…” idols.  Amber would probably have been on my “least favorite idols” list.  I was rereading a lot of my previous posts, and man, I really hated Amber.  These days I’m not sure why.  She’s what makes f(x) worth paying attention to.  Who cares about Sully, there’s a million of her in Kpop.  Amber is the star of the group.  She was also born really close to where I was, so that makes her even cooler to me.  She is so unique in a sea of plastic perfection.  And when she wears eyeliner (see above), she is stunning.  Listening to f(x)’s discography, you can really tell she’s improved incredibly on her Korean.  While dual English/Korean fluency isn’t uncommon among Kpop rappers, it certainly isn’t in girl groups, and added to her unique appearance, Amber is definitely one of the most endearing female idols in Kpop.

14. Lee Hongki (F.T Island)

I probably would also have him a bit higher up if he hadn’t also disappointed me in 2011.  That aside, I fell in love with Hongki because of the drama You’re Beautiful.  It’s one of the best dramas I’ve seen and he played my favorite character. He’s a very talented musician and, prepare yourself, definitely the best male singer in Kpop.  He’s not suited for a boy band, hence F.T Island, where he really shines.  They bored me a bit in the past year, though, otherwise he would probably be a lot higher up.

14. Niigaki Risa

Since Kamei and the Pandas left, Risa had been my favorite Musume.  She’d always been at the top of my list, though.  She’s an amazing vocalist that never gets to show off her skills, a talented rapper, and has a shining personality to match.  She always has something interesting, instead of the same, dull routines every time you see her (Reina, Sayumi, I’m looking at you).  I really hope she does some kind of solo releases instead of turning into a musical junkie like Aichan.

13. Yaguchi Mari

Ah, my favorite oldschool Musume.  Really, does it even need to be explained why I love her?  She just gets better and better and better.  Marippe, you’ll never get old to me.  (I used that image because she is SO PRECIOUS with her giant of a husband.)

12. Yonghwa (C.N. Blue)

I also fell in love with this idol and his band from You’re Beautiful (and all the other main actors as well haha). I like him more in acting than on stage or in variety programs. But he’s hot and has gauged ears and is so suave and such a good singer. Sometimes he seems a bit cocky, but at least he keeps things interesting. C.N. Blue had a great release in 2011 (it was just one, right??), and it made me love him and them even more.  And he can (kind of) scat.  Awesome!

11. Donghae (Super Junior)

Choosing one Super Junior idol is hard.  Of the current members, I would say several are my favorites: Leeteuk, Kyuhyun, and Eunhyuk.  If not current members, Heechul and Kangin would be at the top of my SuJu list.  In fact, I did a TOP! a long time ago dedicated just to SuJu.  Of course, as with everything, my opinions have changed.  Most of my tops are still my tops.  But I would have to say my favorite is Donghae.  I think he is a thousand times sexier than Siwon (sorry, not a big fan).  He has really improved his singing skills to be up to par with those of Ryeowook and Sungmin.  He’s still one of the best dancers in the group, and since Super Junior M (okay, okay, since “Marry U”), he’s turned out to be a very charismatic and talented rapper as well.  And did I mention how smoking hot he is?  Yeah…

10. Hyoyeon (Girls’ Generation/Shoujo Jidai/SNSD/So Nyu Shi Dae)

You may have noticed throughout the years that I’m usually a bit predictable.  My favorites usually end up being either the main dancer, rapper, or the underdog.  SNSD is no exception.  Because they don’t rap (thank God), my favorite has always been Hyoyeon.  She doesn’t get to show off her dancing very much (even in those wimpy things they call dance breaks during single performances), but she is consistently the least popular in Korea (number one in Europe, though ).  This may be because she often gets shafted on lines, screentime, and those awful outfits the stylists love to torture her with.  But she’s so confident and upbeat despite all that, and she still has a firm grasp on reality.  I love her.  Her almost tie for this group was Sooyoung.

09. Song Jieun (Secret)

Wow, she sure snuck her way up here.  I didn’t think Jieun would rank this high until I started comparing.  I have this love/hate relationship with Secret.  I think “Magic” and “Madonna” were phenomenal songs, but “Shy Boy” and “Starlight, Moonlight” were godawful.  Then they came out with “Love is MOVE”, and WOW what an amazing song!  Compared to “The Boys”, I honestly would pick “Love is MOVE” any day.  And you don’t talk about Secret without talking about it’s shining star Song Jieun.  She’s a very talented vocalist, and I particularly enjoy her solo releases.  Oh, yeah, and she ROCKS blue hair.

08. Li Chun/Junjun

I’ve never made it a secret that I think the Pandas were the best thing to ever happen to Morning Musume.  I even have a couple fangirl posts on Junjun.  She was my favorite for a while.  Do you remember how awkward she was for the first year or so of being an idol?  She was adorable.  Then she turned out to be quite the entertainer!  She’s funny and cute.  While she may not be the greatest singer or dancer, she sure tried, and that adorable face made it okay.  She’s really much better cut out for acting and modeling, which is what she’s doing back in China now.  I had a hard time choosing between her and Linlin, but in the end, Junjun won.

07. Eunjung (T-ara)

Eunjung was the only name I knew in T-ara until just recently (still don’t know most of their names).  She always catches my eye and leaves the other girls out of my mind.  I like it when idols are versatile like Eunjung.  She’s a great singer and rapper and dancer and actress.  I think T-ara was great under her leadership because she’s so caring for the other members.  Eunjung is very dedicated to her job, she recently injured herself and kept performing (and then injured it even worse).  You can tell she loves what she does.  And for that, I love her!

06. Seungyeon (KARA)

I’ve never really cared for the other members of KARA.  I love them as a group and their music, don’t get me wrong.  I’m a KARA fan!  But as for the members, only Seungyeon has ever stuck out to me.  She’s adorable and a really great singer.  And she’s entertaining to watch outside of music programs (many of the same reasons I love all the other top idols on here).

05. Yoseob (BEAST)

I fall in love with Yoseob a little more every time BEAST does something.  He has some of the best pipes in Kpop, especially his falsetto.  He can be super sexy and incredibly adorable.  He’s a great frontman for the group.  Admittedly, BEAST has become one of my favorite groups (even over Super Junior).  I also really like Hyunseung and Junhyung, but Yoseob will always be my favorite.  I still want to marry him.

04. Yubin (Wonder Girls)

You had to know that the Wonder Girls would be up here.  They were the very first Kpop girl group I fangirled.  They are still my favorite Kpop girl group.  And, I know this is heresy, but I actually like Lim better than Sunmi.  *gasp*  Almost tied with Yeeun, Yubin is still my favorite member.  She is by far one of the most talented rappers in Kpop girl groupdom.  And her ability to rap in English without an accent is amazing.  She’s really different than other idols because she’s not only sassy, but she always is sporting that bronzed skin that’s looked down upon in Asia because she looks HOT with it.

02. Kevin (U-Kiss)

Speaking of creaping up out of no where, surprisingly my number two is Kevin.  Even above Yoseob.  Why is this surprising?  U-Kiss was among the list of new-but-not-super-new Kpop groups that I couldn’t care less about until Neverland.  I mean, I’d listened to some of there earlier stuff and they were okay, but like Infinite, I’d never really had a reason to fangirl them.  And Kibum sketched me out.  He looks way too much like his brother.  So their first release without him I wasn’t even going to listen to, but by accident I did.  And it was instant fangirlism.  And while the other members are slowly warming up to me, Kevin is still my favorite.  He caught my eye right away, not only because he has the same name as my older brother, but because he’s super sexy.  And an awesome singer and dancer.  And sexy.  Probably my favorite thing about him is that he’s in the growing list of Kpop idols born in the same state I was.  He’s fluent in English!  He’s really friendly and endearing.  Right now, he’s probably my top contender for future husband.

But my favorite idol is still…

01. Taemin (SHINee)

Oh yeah.  Now, I’ve posted about why I love him before in a previous TOP!, so I’ll save you the redundancy.  He’s getting better and better at everything–singing, dancing, himself, and being an idol in general.  I’m really excited to see how he develops when he graduates high school (this year, right?).

—

There you have it!  My top 20 idols!  If there’s someone you’re surprised to see or not see on here, let me know in the comments below!  And if there’s another TOP! you think I should countdown, put that here too!

(Beware, I have an onslaught of reviews heading your way.  They weren’t posted because it took me five days to write this )

I’m not going to lie, I haven’t been even slightly interested in either the 9th or 10th generations of Morning Musume.  In fact, I’m pretty disappointed with them.  I’ve talked about it in a previous post, so I won’t  be redundant.  For some really odd reason, I decided to watch an interview Hello! Online posted where a couple 9th Gen and 10th Gen girls promoted that godawful single they just released.

I had to really pay attention because about a minute in I realized I’ve never bothered to learn any of their names.  I don’t even think that I could recognize any of them if you put them in a crowd.  But then one of the girls started to talk, and she caught my eye.  I didn’t recognize her at all.

It took me three watches through the interview to figure out who she was.  See, I didn’t realize she was a 10th Generation member, I thought they were all 9th Generation.  Shows you how much I know.  I couldn’t find an “Ayumi” in any information about 9th Gen.  And then it FINALLY clicked.

Why was I so interested to find out who she was?  When I couldn’t tell you a single other of the 8 new girls’ names?

She looks JUST like someone else I love very much.  Have you noticed her striking resemblance to another really famous J-Idol?  No?  Let me ruin her for you help you.

Oh, yeah.  KAT-TUN’s one and only Ueda Tatsuya.  They could be related.  He’s my favorite member of KAT-TUN, so I HAD to find out who his Morning Musume doppelganger was.

Don’t be offended, he’s the single most attractive member of KAT-TUN.  It’s a compliment to Ayumi, really.

Really, I think Morning Musume could use this to their advantage.  Promote that they have a Uepi doppelganger and you open to doors to a whole new audience.  Or at least put them in a variety show together and let everyone else know that they could be twins.

Oh, the possibilities.

Okay, this was hard.  Really, really hard.  I don’t think I realized what I was getting into when I decided to do this next installation of my TOP! series.  For those of you who are new to my blog, TOP! is my series of countdowns of favorites.  There’s a page in the menu bar with previous TOP! posts.

Today I bring you my personal top 25 Hello! Project singles.  No, really, that was the smallest number I could muster.  There’s just as many honorable mentions.

25. Aisu Kuriimu to My Purin – v-u-den

Oddly enough, I think I hated this song when I first heard it.  But it slowly became my favorite v-u-den single.  Their favorite song of mine is by far “FANTASY” from their last album, but this song is a close second.  It’s addictive and completely embodies everything that v-u-den was.  I think a close second (single) would be Koisuru Angel Heart.

24. Koi no Telephone GOAL – Abe Natsumi

This is such an adorable song.  Morning Musume’s #1 member took on Spanish in this song, and it was so adorable that you can’t help but love it.  It’s very endearing and one of her last interesting singles before taking the trip down H!P boring soloist road.

23. Shochuu Omimai Moshiagemasu - °C-ute

I actually own this single I love it so much.  It’s so summery and °C-ute.  It’s been the theme song to my summers the past couple of years and it’s one of those few songs that makes me sohappy each and every time I hear it.

22. GOODBYE Natsuo – Matsuura Aya

I love all of Ayaya’s first 15 singles or so before she also took the trip down boring H!P soloist lane.  But if I had to pick just one to be my favorite and better than other H!P singles, it’d definitely be this one.  I first heard it at the 2006 Wonderful Hearts concert by Takahashi Ai, Suzuki Airi, and some other person (Murakami Megumi maybe?) and it was love at first listen.  This song got me into listening to Ayaya’s solo music.

21. Pepper Keibu – Morning Musume

I think I really like H!P cover songs.  This was a brilliant single.  It was incredibly addictive and catchy.  While I don’t like the focus on Reina, I thought the way they transitioned lined and gave the Pandas a significant part was awesome.  The b-side, “ROMANCE,” was like the icing on the cake.

20. Uchouten LOVE – S/mileage

This song was the end of S/mileage was we knew it, and my personal favorite H!P song of 2011.  It’s a modern recreation of the best of old school Hello! Project, like a mix between Minimoni and Petitmoni and everything awesome.

19. Rottara Rottara – Buono!

Ah, Buono! at it’s finest.  Both the a-side and b-side were so… Buono!  These are how I want to remember this group, not the crap that they’re releasing now.  Buono! is best as the best adorable group in Hello! Project, not some faux-rock Jrock unit.

18. Chokotto LOVE – Petitmoni

This song is so addictive.  While the b-side left something to be desired, I haven’t grown tired of the title track to date.  Granted, it’s not on my iPod, but it always gets me excited to see it on a setlist or to do a cover of it.  While I’m not the biggest fan of Yasuda Kei, two of the most charismatic singers to grace Morning Musume, Goto Maki and Yoshizawa Hitomi, graced the debut single of this unit, combined with the awesome song, made this group something worth paying attention to.

17. Special Generation – Berryz Koubou

You may say overdone, but I say best Berryz Koubou single ever.  While I do have a couple ranked higher on here, it’s only because I’ve heard this song a few too many times.  Contradiction?  No.  Go to a concert where this is performed.  You will instantly understand why Berryz have been trying to recreate this kind of addiction ever since.  Scratch that, Tsunku has been trying to recreate this in all of H!P.  And it hasn’t worked.  If you haven’t heard the b-side, “Koishiteru Koi wa Itsumo…”, give it a listen.  It’s very underloved but a great song.  It’s slow-tempo but not boring.  It’s like a better version of “VERY BEAUTY.”

16. Miss Love Tantei – W

In my eyes, W can do no flaw.  It was very hard not to put all of their singles on here.  W was the second greatest idea Tsunku has ever had, and they came from his single greatest idea ever.  Stick around for #1 to find out what that is (but if you’ve read my previous TOP! posts, I’m sure you have an idea).  What I love about this song in particular is the rap.  So rare in Hello! Project, but always amazing when they pop up.  The dance is adorable, the PV is adorable, and did I mention the rap?  Yeah, I love the rap.  I wish W would reunite.  Seriously.  This was a great single to end on, but I would love to see them get back together.

15. Dakishimete Daksihimete – Berryz Koubou

This was the transition single, for me, where Berryz went from “They used to be good, but they’ve grown boring, just like every Hello! Project group” to “WOW THEY STILL GOT IT.  Berryz is definitely a group to watch!”  It’s very Kpop-y, but that’s a good thing, considering the global rise of Kpop.  There isn’t anything I dislike about the a-side (except the usual Risako singing, but she looks great!).  I didn’t like the b-side at all, but a song like that doesn’t need to rely on a b-side.

14. Aa Ii na! – W

I feel like this single gets forgotten in the world of W.  While it’s certainly not their best, it’s better than SO MUCH of Hello! Project releases in general.  It’s really catchy, it has split harmonies (LOVE those in H!P songs), and the PV features several pre-debut Hello! Project kids.  Oh yeah.

13. Balalaika – Kusumi Koharu

Surprised?  No, I’m still not a Koharu fan.  Nor will I ever be.  Same with Kirarin Revolution.  I will never like it.  But this single.  This single was brilliant.  The a-side was brilliant and the b-side was a stereotype anime song, but still really catchy.  Wonder why?   Tsunku had absolutely nothing to do with this single.  In my mind, that’s H!P genius.

12. Tokaikko Junjou - °C-ute

This song put °C-ute on people’s radars.  It won them multiple awards and suddenly this was a group to pay attention to.  I think they’ve had a couple singles on this level since, but nothing after this single has been quite as good.  °C-ute, what happened to the epic awesome that was this single??

11. Heroine ni Narou ka! – Berryz Koubou

This was one of my favorite singles last year.  Even for Berryz (arguably the most vocally-talented group in H!P), this song was risky.  I think Risako pulled the quality down a little, they should have given her high parts to Saki or Chinami, but overall, it was pulled off very well.  Yurina as center is just brilliant, she’s really too tall to stand on the side and really shines in the center.

And now the… 

10. Ai no Imi wo Oshiete! – W

Whenever I hear this song, my eyes well up with nostalgia.  I really love this song, it’s so W.  The b-side is almost as good, and together they’re two bubblegum songs that make you want to dance, even when you’re driving (warning: don’t try that at home).

09. LU LU LU – GAM

Why, oh why, did this unit ever disband?  They were the last good idea Tsunku had.  The two top vocalists of H!P at the time put together in one deliciously harmonious unit with sexy videos and stunning  vocals.  With the right promotion and marketing, I could have seen them being big not only in the H!P wotadom, but nationally as well.  I mean, have you seen the PV for French Kiss’s “Candle no Shin”??  It’s GAM with younger  AKB girls.  This was their last real single before Mikitty got herself kicked out of MoMusu.  Why that ruined GAM, I have no idea.  The song itself was beautiful and catchy and mature.  It’s not very often you hear a song like this in Hello! Project.  (PS, anyone else notice that Tsunku likes his rain logs?)

08. Uwaki na Honey Pie – Country Musume ni Konno to Fujimoto

This unit was the last attempt to get Country Musume some attention.  Gosh, Mikitty can do no wrong.  Saved this group. I think most fans these days would recognize this without a second thought, but don’t know where it came from.  Personally, this song got me into Country Musume.  Granted, they only have one or two decent singles, including all of their “ni [insert more popular idol here]” units.  It’s hyper, addicting, and has a super easy dance that is a popular hit at H!P concerts.

07. Massara Blue Jeans - °C-ute

I will never, ever grow tired of this song.  It was the first indie single ever released by °C-ute and the very best song they’ve ever had.  If you’ve only heard it at recent concerts, you’re really missing out, because it was SO much better before it was “Maimi and Airi solo with some back up girls.”  Erika actually was a lead on this song, and she has always been my favorite member of °C-ute.  I could have gone without Megumi, but she made a really good balance in the group and I honestly wish she hadn’t left.  Wow, can you imagine where H!P would be right now with Megumi in it…?  Anyway, this is one of the few singles on this list actually still on my iPod that I listen to regularly.  I seriously well never grow tired of it.  It’s probably the first single I ever listened to by a H!P group, and while Soku Dakishimete was originally my favorite, this one will never leave my heart as the best °C-ute song.

06. MY BOY – Buono!

I thought this song was going to be my #1 when I started this list.  If I was going to H!P singles since 2006, this one would be the best.  No, really, that’s when H!P started to go downhill.  I will say this: “MY BOY” has the single best PV ever from a Hello! Project group.  I remember I instantly fell in love with this song and it’s PV, which is rare for me, and I couldn’t stop listening for weeks.  This was the last really good single Buono!’s released.  The song is perfect.  The b-side is less desirable, but like many of the other singles on this list, it doesn’t need a good b-side to support it.

05. Melodies – GAM

Flawless.  That is this single.  I can hardly offer any criticism because this single was so stunning.  If you haven’t seen the PV, you need to right now.  You’ll become an instant GAM fan, trust me.
Trust me.

04. Boogie Train ’03 – Fujimoto Miki

No, seriously, she can do no wrong.  Some of you newer fans may be going “No, this is a S/mileage song!”  To which I say, oh, you have much to learn.  This is hands-down the best single ever released by a Hello! Project solo artist.  It will always be one of my favorites.  It’s fun and so different.  It literally has something to offer for everyone.

03. Go Girl ~Koi no Victory~ – Morning Musume

This single is was the epitome of Morning Musume’s golden age.  It’s the perfect example of why they used to be so awesome and why they’re not anymore.  The song is so uplifting and the group is huge.  There’s no solo lines to fight over, just enjoying having fun and singing a good song.  More than the a-side, though, this single is number 3 because of it’s b-side “KOI ing.”  It is, without a doubt, my favorite Morning Musume song ever.  It should have had it’s own single.  It is tear-jerkingly beautiful.  It’s slow but not boring.  I wish H!P knew how to do something this good these days, honestly.

02. Robokiss – W

Best W song.  Also flawless.  The b-side is complimentary to the a-side and not boring or a throw-away.  I think Sayumi and Risako performed this not too long ago.  They can’t even compare, but hopefully you all remembered the flawlessness that was Kago and Tsuji when they performed this song.

1.5. Suki Sugite Baka Mitai – DEF.DIVA

I couldn’t figure out where to put this on the list.  It’s better than an honorable mention, but didn’t really fit in anywhere.  So I stuck in in a half number.  Oh yeah.  DEF.DIVA was nearly flawless.  If it had Mikitty instead of Rika, it would have been perfect.  Has anyone else noticed that the soloist never used to just do their own thing?  They were shuffled in and out of all kinds of groups to get a broader fanbase.  Tsunku, where has your brain gone?  Why don’t we have a Mano Erina/Kikkawa You group yet??  Anyway, this song is one of the best to grace Hello! Project, I really wish it would get more love these days.

Are you ready?  For the best H!P single ever…??

01. Everything ever released by Minimoni

Yeah, I couldn’t pick any one or two or five.  It’s all of them.  If I had, it would have been “TOP! Part 8 – The Best W and Minimoni Songs with a Few Other H!P Acts Sprinkled In.”  Greater than all the rest of Hello! Project without doubt.  I’ve never kept my undying love for this group a secret.  They got a little less amazing with Takahashi Ai instead of Marippe, but nevertheless, they stayed amazing.  I know Tsunku’s tried to get back to this a few times, but to be honest, he’s never going to recreate Minimoni or anything like it.  Not even Linlin or Gakisan.  Only those four girls up there could make it as perfect as it was.

….

And there you go!  Four days later, I’ve finally finished this list.  It was a MONSTER.  I forgot a lot of singles from one-shot groups and a LOT didn’t make the list because it would have been 50 singles long.  So thus, here are the honorable mentions:

Morning Musume – Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari
Morning Musume – Morning Musume no Hyokkori Hyoutan-jima
Berryz Koubou – Waracchaou yo Boyfriend
°C-ute – SHOCK!
°C-ute – Edo no Temari Uta II
Buono! – Renai♥Rider
Buono! – Hontou no Jibun
Goto Maki – SOME BOYS! TOUCH
Abe Natsumi – Koi no Hana
Melon Kinenbi – This is Unmei
v-u-den – Issai Gassai Anata ni a.ge.ru
Country Musume ni Ishikawa Rika – Hajimete no Happy Birthday!
T&C Bomber – HEY! Mahiru no Shinkirou
Mobekimasu – Busu ni Naranai Tetsugaku (seriously, SUCH a good idea)
Guardians4 – PARTY TIME
Athena & Robikerottsu – Shouri no BIG WAVE!!!
Aa! – FIRST KISS
WaT x Hello! Project – Ready GO!!

There you go.  Best Hello! Project singles, very few of which are in the past six years.  :D

(PS – All cover images came from projecthello.com)

(PPS- If you’ve been following my TOP! series, you’ll notice my opinions have changed a lot )

My goal for 2012 is to not be so limited in what I listen to.  Not that I won’t be biased, but there’s many artists that either I’ve a) never heard of or b) haven’t listened to because they’re competition for my favorites.  I did this just a little in 2011 and discovered many hidden treasures that I had been shying myself away from.  So why not go even further?

My first new Jpop listen of the year is Nana Mizuki and her new single Synchrogazer.  I don’t know if I can really call her a new listen, though.  See, I thought I had never even heard of her before.  But as it turns out, Mizuki’s in everything.  No, seriously.  I haven’t watched many animes since I was 6, but nearly all the ones I have she’s been in.  I’ve played half the games she’s voiced characters for, and thus have heard her sing the theme songs for them before.  She’s even dubbed characters for the Japanese version of my favorite TV show and several others I used to enjoy.

Think you don’t know who she is?  You may want to look at her heavily extensive resume and think again.

So I stumbled upon her latest, “Synchrogazer.”  I probably wouldn’t have watched it had it not had such a cool title and she not looked so stunning on that cover.  Together, they intrigued me just enough to watch the music video.

I have to say, for a seiyuu, she has some impressive pipes.  She reminds me an awful lot of Ayumi Hamasaki.  They both have that strained feeling with the high notes, but it isn’t distracting to me for either of them.  Only, Mizuki looks about 20 years old (she’s actually 34.   Damn.), while Ayu, although gracefully, is starting to look her age.

They CGI’d Mizuki’s eyes blue in the close up shots, and I have to be honest, it really sketches me out.  Other than that, she’s gorgeous.  I love her dress and ribon made out of washers.  I don’t really understand the theme of the video, but this an anime theme song, so it’s safe to assume that the video is reflecting the anime is some way or another.

The weird bald black interpretive dancing cyborg is pretty awesome.  It really hooked me to see it “power up” as the video started.  While some of her his its dance moves are kind of awkward, the others are really modern (read: the dance style modern) and fit the song really well in my opinion.  It would have been cool to see Mizuki doing some kind of dance as well.  I was going to say in her defense, she is hooked up to tons of chords… but so is the bald black interpretive dancing cyborg.  So no excuses, sorry Mizuki.  Should have danced.

The one thing that really bugged me about this video was the numerous shots of her sleeping in a capsule.  NOTHING HAPPENS the ENTIRE video.  You just watch her sleep in a capsule for half of it.  Lights go across the protective glass towards the end, but still nothing.  Oh wait, her hand twitches after the music stops.

Lame.

Totally does not warrant half the video of boring shots when we could have been watching bald black interpretive dancing cyborg or sketchy super blue eyes.

I predominantly like the music video, though.  And I really love the song.  Her falsetto in the intro is gorgeous and really hooks you into the song.  While I didn’t like the other tracks on the single nearly as much, “Synchrogazer” is definitely staying on my iPod.  I think I’ll add Nana Mizuki to my watch list.

If you guys think I should try out any other artists that I don’t talk about all the time, let me know!

Sunny Hill – In Praise of the Grasshopper

I’ll start with my favorite of this batch.  I started to notice this group when they did “Mamma Mia” with Narsha, and it was a very, very bad impression.  In fact, it was by complete chance that I stumbled upon “Midnight Circus” and I was hooked.  It’s such a good song and so very different.  That’s what I like about Sunny Hill, they are very different from your normal Kpop act.  This release is the first I’ve heard with their male member, Janghyun.  While it’s not a huge part, he writes the incredibly intriguing music for the group.  

This song caught me off guard.  The intro has you thinking that it’s going to be a blaaaaaaaaahhhhh acoustic ballad, but it ends up being an incredibly catchy dance number, although slow-tempoed, it’s fast lyrics make it addictive.  The use of the cello is beautiful and makes the song that much more high quality and different.  The whole mini-album is really top-notch.  I highly recommend it.

Another thing I really like about Sunny Hill is that they always have profound lyrics with a really deep and positive message.  Janghyun is definitely a talented lyricist.  ”Grasshopper” is a really uplifting song about standing up for yourself against your peers and being yourself.  I would expect nothing less from them.

The music video itself is also nothing less than what I would expect from Sunny Hill after “Midnight Circus” and “Prayer.”  They quite literally break free of the mundane life under the ground and break free to experience really exotic sets that resemble India (I think).  It wasn’t until about halfway through that I realized they were all wearing adorable grasshopper outfits.  It’s still a pretty typical Kpop music video, but it’s very endearing and coupled with the song, really stands out.  Great job as always, Sunny Hill.

MBLAQ – It’s War

Wow, a Kpop MV about a hired killer.  How very, very original.  And he has to leave his girl behind?  Goodness, I’m shocked.

Okay, okay.  It’s not completely unoriginal.  Unlike most MVs like this, I was actually really surprised with the plot twist right before the bridge of the song.  I don’t want to spoil it if you haven’t seen it yet, but I certainly didn’t see it coming.  That’s a nice change. Overall, the music video was really well-done.  I really enjoyed Thunder and randomgirl’s acting a lot.  Only… Joon, really?  Is that really what dying looks like?  It looks like he was parodying someone dying, not really trying.  (Oops, did I just spoil there?  Sorry.)  That’s really the only problem with the MV.

The song is good.  It’s not the best MBLAQ song ever, but I particularly enjoy that only Mir is rapping (even if he looks like a rooster) and that Thunder is singing (he is so precious).  I appreciate that G.O. got most of the chorus solos, because I probably would have been upset if Joon both starred in the music video and the song.  Otherkid is just there, not making an impression, as always.  I don’t even know his name because a) he never stands out and b) he gives me no reason to care.

On a side note… did their outfits remind anyone else of Black Swan?  No?

Rainbow Pixie – Hoi Hoi

Rainbow is one of those kind of new girl groups (but not the new new ones) that haven’t caught my attention and that I really don’t give a rat’s ass about, including, but not limited to: Nine Muses, A Pink, Girl’s Day, and Dal Shabet.  They’re just… not as good as the older groups like SNSD, 2NE1, After School, and KARA (to name a few).  This music video pretty much proved me right.  I really have had no reason to care about these groups.

Actually, the only reason I even watched this is because I was watching the latest episode of Inkigayo and Rainbow Pixie’s intro was SO SUPER CATCHY.  I just had to see what followed it.  Alas, it wasn’t as good as the intro lead me to believe, but it’s a good song with a cute and catchy melody.  I got bored about half way through the performance, though, and decided to watch the music video.  I fully expected it to be filled with magical forests and unicorns and have the girls seducing this man they’re singing about and when the magic wore out, he would stay in love with them!  A la T-ara!

Not so much.

The music video is really, really sloppy and just down-right lazy.  It’s an official music video for an official group that will be making money off of this song.  It should not be out of sync.  No, it is not youtube’s fault.  The video is in sync perfectly in some parts, then falls out of sync, then 20 seconds later is in sync again.  More than once.  In addition to that, there are several shots used three or four times throughout the video.  Now, I’m sorry, that’s just lazy.  And could they find nothing better than bath robes?  I mean, the entire first half of the video is in bath robes.  You couldn’t afford costumes?

No, no, I get it, they’re getting ready to go to the club and use their pixie magic on the guy they’re singing about.  It’s still lazy.  But it’s not all bad.  I really enjoyed the second half of the video, it fit the song much better than the first half.   I absolutely adore the glowing gloves, they’re genius.  I wish they would have had a dimly-lit dance sequence with those on.  That would have been awesome.

I just have to get one thing off of my chest.  Could this group be any more like Orange Caramel?  It’s not that they’re a three-member subgroup of a massive girl group.  I’m not saying every single subgroup from one will be like Orange Caramel.  But do you recall a particular set of outfits from Magic Girl?

Oh…. Hmmmmm…

Also, doesn’t the song itself sound oddly reminiscent of, oh, songs such as “Magic Girl” and “A~ing”?  And while we’re at it, wasn’t “Magic Girl” about magic and using it to make a guy fall in love, too…?

Oh… hmmmm…

Just saying.

T-ara – Lovey Dovey

Wow.  What a catchy song!!  I was really, really disappointed with “Cry, Cry” for several reasons, and I was really not looking forward to this song, but it redeems the previous one entirely.  I honestly haven’t enjoyed a T-ara song this much since “Why Are You Acting Like This?”  (Sorry, apparently I’m the only person on the planet who wasn’t absolutely infatuated with “Roly Poly.”)

I couldn’t sit through the 20-minute “Cry Cry” video, and I certainly wasn’t able to do the same for the 20-minute “Lovey Dovey” video.  Which is why, if you haven’t noticed, I’ve shared the Zombie Version with you.

As far as songs not fitting the video, this one tops my list.  This cutesy dance track is anything but a zombie thriller soundtrack.  Also, veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerry subtle hint to Michael Jackson there, T-ara.  Verrrrrrrrry subtle.

The plot had a lot of dumb holes.  For example, the girl at the beginning is the first victim.  How is she the sole survivor?  And why didn’t the guard lock the gates?  And why was he holding the gate while zombies are clawing at it and can easily nom his hand and get the girls?  And why do they all just stand there when the zombies all come after them?  And HOW did that girl hide right where the zombie mob was just dancing and get away?!  And if she’s a zombie, how is she the only zombie that doesn’t look like a zombie?  I’m sorry, I missed the part where zombies go do their makeup  before noming on some brains.

Besides that, kudos for a zombie music video.  And the song, while really repetitive, is really catchy.  I love that T-ara constantly proves that you don’t have to follow the norms to sell out.

Teen Top – Crazy

First of all, I have to get this off of my chest, TEEN TOP, WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SOUND LIKE JUSTIN BEIBER? WHY, OH WHY? FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD. I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THAT.

I’ll nitpick first: This is my least favorite Teen Top song (and album) to date.  Besides sounding like a cheap ripoff of Justin Beiber, the dance isn’t their best, either.  It’s overly simple and just doesn’t stick out like their previous ones.  Also, can someone please tell me why rubbing their crotch is the dance move for “Stop breaking my heart, I love you girl”??????  I’m really… flabbergasted.  It’d be bullshit to say they don’t know the meaning, they have two fluent English speakers in the group for God’s sake.

And children, despite what Teen Top leads you to think, it is absolutely NOT safe to stand in the middle of the street in the dark.

But on the bright side, I think this is the first song that I’ve realized that their are other members in the group besides C.A.P., L.Joe, and Niel (crap, more names to learn).  Besides the Justin Beiber parts, this song is actually very catchy.  I like that it has lots of rap sprinkled with the singing instead of one random rap break in the middle.  And L. Joe is precious.

The storyline is pretty cute, but I’m actually a little disappointed that whatshisname ends up with the girl in the end.  Teen Top, you want to know why you keep getting your heart broken?  It’s because you’re dirty cheating scumbags.  :D  I hope you learned your lesson.

I really like the dance sequence at the end.  It’s not quite “Super Love”, but it’s still very good.  Teen Top is improving every single video and I’m really excited to see where they’ll be next year or a few years after that.  Keep working hard!

Morning Musume – Pyocopyoco Ultra

When I heard the radio rip for this song, I actually really liked it.  It’s really catchy on it’s own and it showcases the new members, which although isn’t great yet, it’s smart on Tsunku’s part.  If all of the lines are given to Reina or Mame, then it’ll be a PAIN once they graduate (such as, I can imagine, it is now divvying up all of Ai’s parts).

Then the covers and group concept pictures were released.

Then the MV.

Can I emphasize how much I have been disappointed with Morning Musume lately?  Leave it to Tsunku to take a perfectly good song and fuck duck it up.  To save an incredibly long rant, here’s the one good thing about this PV: Gakisan.  She really, really shines among the rest.  And I really love that her costume is different, it really shows that she’s the queen duck.  Otherwise, yeah.  There’s nothing good about this PV.  It makes me sick to my stomach.  I’ve tried about 5 times and I still cannot watch it all the way through.

Tsunku, little girls are already fans of Morning Musume.  They will listen anyway.  Especially since you’re adding kindergartners to the group.  You need to be targetting the market that is leaning to AKB: young adults and the older male fans.  You used to do it, and it worked really, really well.  Don’t know why that’s changed, but he is really throwing a great group down the tubes.  Just because the new members are young doesn’t mean they have to be dancing in duck outfits.  Seriously.

I realize the strategy Tsunku is using here with the 9th and 10th generation members.  But on the other hand, you’re sacrificing a  couple years just to hone in talent.  This makes me feel that even more, these idols need to go through the Kpop training program.  Hear me out.  I’m sure Riho will be the next Tanaka Reina or whatever.  Right now she’s not.  If you trained all these new girls for a couple years, I’m sure they’d be an incredible asset to the group.  In the mean time, add a couple more Eggs who have already trained to the group (I do think that was a smart move, Tsunku).  Then, when they’ve ripened, BAM!  Amazing group.

Don’t think it’d work?  Fujimoto Miki failed the round of auditions, then they reconsidered and trained her for a year, and look where she ended up.  One of the best singers to grace Morning Musume.  I hate to use this example, but Kikkawa You debuted as a soloist after failing Morning Musume auditions and a couple years of training as an Egg.

Just saying.

S/mileage – Chotomatte Kudasai

First of all, I really, really miss Ogawa Saki and Maeda Yuuka.  They made S/mileage.  If Wada Ayaka or Fukuda Kanon leave… I don’t even want to think about it.  I hated the new members at first.  They’re so awkward.  But I really enjoyed “Pkease Miniskirt Postwoman!”, so I think maybe in time when they start being less awkward, I’ll like the 2nd generation members.  (Has anyone else noticed this is only the second project group in all of H!P?)

I hardly think S/mileage has been around long enough to have a “classic,” but the drawing on the screen definitely seems to fit that description with this group.  Also, anyone get a “Mr. Moonlight” feel here?  Not only the dresses, but the set looks… almost the same.  If not that, it definitely gives me a Momoiro Clover feel.

The PV is very, very cheesy.  Hard to watch.  And the song  and dance (BAD CHOREOGRAPHY HOLY CRAP) are definitely a step down from the last one.  However, the thing I really like about S/mileage is that their songs are always so up-beat and 8bit and they always take vocal challenges that you never see in, oh, a group like Morning Musume (it’s happening more often with Berryz Koubou).

The PV is very childish, but S/mileage is a bunch of children, so I suppose that’s acceptable.  I like the high parts in the song, but that’s about it.  Still, this is better than Pyocopyoco Ultra.  :D

 (Sorry, no full PV on youtube)

Dream Morning Musume – Shining Butterfly

MARIPPE.  MIKITTY.  *squee*  I’ve been very disappointed with this group so far, but this song/PV has given me new hope in them.  (Also, I’m really glad Ai didn’t join this group after her graduation.  It would have ruined it for me.)

I get a very AKB-feel with this PV.  Maybe that’s because, OMIGAWSH, WUT, A STORYLINE?!  FROM A UFA PV?! NOWAI, RLY GUISE?!?!? RLY?!?!?!?!  Yeah.  Really.  I like it a lot, too.  I like that Yuko’s the mama and they’re all like sisters.  Koharu and Rika are gorgeous, as always.  (And squee, only Yossi could get away with bitchslapping Rika.)

The song itself is very reminiscent of oldschool!Musume, as I suppose it should be.  The members are doing harmonies themselves, the dances are simple and cheesy, and Abe and Rika get most of the solos (still, couldn’t take my eyes off of Mikitty and Marippe).  Throughout the years, all of their voices (except maybe Koharu) have really gotten beautiful.  This group could really push the boundaries and go somewhere vocally.

I only have two complaints with this video: 1) Takahashi Ai is really, really randomnly placed.  It makes no sense why she’s there and it’s only for a couple seconds.  I think she should have been the rival for Rika’s attention, then it would have made sense and not been “OMGHAI AI! OKAY BYE NAO!”  2) The outfits for the dance shot are really, really awful.  REALLY awful.  Other than that, I seriously loved this video.  It’s my favorite out of the four I’m reviewing today!

Buono! – DEEP MIND

I really like the set of this PV, as well as the dark atmosphere, the outfits, and, as always, Buono!’s band.  The song itself is really catchy as well, I love how non-H!P it is.  But, to be honest, I found myself getting really bored of the song and PV about half way through.

What happened to partenza?  Seriously, that minialbum was GOLD.  I haven’t enjoyed a whole H!P album like that in who knows how long (probably since 10 MY ME by MoMusu).  I was hoping for something like that with DEEP MIND, but alas, no such luck.  The autotuned effect in the bridge of this song sounds really out of place.  Like, “Oh, yeah, this is the same group that did partenza, remember?”  Except badly.

Buono!’s becoming one of those groups that just tweaks the songs and PVs just enough to make it new, but it’s the same thing time after time.  I remember them having REALLY CATCHY SONGS that I would listen to on repeat for weeks and REALLY CATCHY CHOREOGRAPHY that I couldn’t stop dancing along with.  They’ve gotten… boring.  Granted, they’re one of my favorite H!P units right now (second to Berryz Koubou), I just wish they would spice it up.  Their only redeeming quality to me right now is that Tsunku isn’t really involved in their music.

I realize it was a long time ago, but do you guys remember waaaaaaaay back when when I was increasingly losing interest in my first Kpop love, the Wonder Girls?  And then I went to their concert in Denver and I fell in love again?  Well, I lost interest again because I got bored, they weren’t releasing anything, and everyone else in Kpop was way more interesting.

Wonder World has been my favorite album of theirs so far.  ”Be My Baby” was FAR superior to “2 Different Tears” or “Nobody.”  It definitely rekindled my love for them.  When I heard they would be doing a Teen Nick movie, I was partially excited that they broke from Disney, but mostly still disappointed because… it’s still a kid-geared station with cheesy scripts and generally bad acting.

Wow, did “DJ is Mine” ever change my mind.  I was going to say “Be My Baby” was the best Wonder Girls single to date, but man.  ”DJ is Mine” surpasses “Tell Me.”  It is by far the best song they have released yet.  Seriously.

I was very surprised that “Nobody” even charted on Billboard.  I mean, honestly, it’s just not geared for America.  But this, oh, this song is much better.  If you haven’t heard it yet, you are seriously missing out.

This is the song that will break the Wonder Girls into the American music market.  It’s written by a well-known North American composer.  It has those dumb nonsensical lyrics that American listeners just eat up because they don’t want to have to think about it (oh, yeah, and plenty of innuendo).

I really only have two teensy tinsy complaints with this.  The first is specifically the music video.  I’m sorry, those wannabes–er, the School Gyrls *cough*–are just… annoying.  WG obviously has more talent and they’re just stealing camera time.  However, if you’d like to drop a buck or two, iTunes has a version of the song with just the Wonder Girls, and it is far superior.

The other one is the serious lack of Lim in this song.  I realize we all of Sohee here, but Lim is a really great singer and she’s the most fluent in English of all the girls.  While I realize she’s still warming up to the Korean fans who miss SunMi, the American listeners don’t even know who that is.  And while Sohee’s vocals have holyshitaLOT improved, Lim is just a better singer.  Not that you can tell with all the autotune in this song.

That aside, I’m still fangasming and this has been out for 24 hours now.  There is seriously no other flaws with anything about this song.

The dance and outfits are AWESOME.  The girls are hot and the dance is a great mix of Wonder Girls and America.  The song is completely America, but the dance is what reminds you that, oh yeah, this 4 minutes of goddess-like gold is still our adorable little Wonder Girls from South Korea.

As always, YeEun and SunYe’s vocals are stunning and perfect.  I really like how long of a rap Yubin gets and how well she pwns it.  In the music video, the two groups are flailing at each other (oh, sorry, was that supposed to be a battle? Couldn’t tell) during the rap, and sorry to say, but Yubin had it in the bag from the beginning.  The American rapper is all: “WUT. WUT. AMA GANGSTA.  LOOKIT MY VAGINA AND BOOBS.  WUT.”  And then Yubin goes: “Uh.  Bitch please.  I got class and gangsta.  Whatcha gonna do about it?  Let me reiterate that.”

Seriously, kudos for complex English words.  I have several friends (older than me, too) who don’t even know what reiterate means.

I easily give this song a bajillion/5.  I highly recommend it to l0ng-time WG fans, new Kpop fans, old Kpop fans who are looking to get into WG but are SNSD fans (because this, I’m sorry, is WAY better than “The Boys”), or American listeners who don’t even know what Kpop is but are looking for an awesome new favorite song.

On a slightly non sequitur note: Yeah, come on.  Nothing else is going to break it into the American market like this except for 2NE1.  I have no doubt 2NE1 will rock America.  But, come on, Girls Generation.  ”The Boys” is not America material, it’s hardly even Korea material.  Neither has been any of the Wonder Girl’s other attempts.  This is gonna be the big Kpop break in America, I’m confident.

Because I still am pretty much constantly disappointed with Hello! Project, I want to change the name of my blog …again… to something not Hello! Project-related.  Any ideas?

What you should expect to see here: I might post how disappointed and disgusted I am with Morning Musume, C-ute, and Mano Erina every once in a while.  I have generally liked Buono!, Berryz Koubou, and S/mileage throughout the past couple years.  I don’t watch many dramas these days, but I’ll review them if I do.  Also, expect a hefty amount of Kpop reviews and rants.  :D  I’ve gotten pretty into AKB (BUT I STILL DON’T KNOW THEIR NAMES.  GAH.) and other idol groups that are far superior to anything in Hello! Project, such as: 9nine, Momoiro Clover-Z, and anything from avex.

It would take me a year to catch up on everything I’ve missed, so I apologize that I’ve taken such a long, unannounced hiatus, but I’m going to start getting back into this.  Hopefully for a bit longer this time!

<3 Tsukiki